I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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