I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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