and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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