His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
