Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize