so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize