So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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