Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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