Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
