Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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