im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
