i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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