Jerry, you need to find god
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
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you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
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it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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