Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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