i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize