I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize