I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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