Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
