I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize