U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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