I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
did i just pee glitter
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
