he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
