I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
