its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
