hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
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we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
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Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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