can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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