I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
