awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
