they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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