Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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