Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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