I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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