Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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