So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
