cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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