is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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