This girl is more easily done than said...
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
