Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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