So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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