my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Randomize
