I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
