Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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