now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
