It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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