Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
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I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
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