For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
