how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
And then he peed in my hair
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