So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
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stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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