on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
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Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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