He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
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he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
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You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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