Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
