I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
should my penis look like a turkey
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
