And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
