i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
