if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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