You made me cry and you don't even care
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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