You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
